YOUR AVERAGE LEGON GIRL

It’s 6am somewhere on the campus of University of Ghana and the place is Block B, Pent. Precise location? One of the 2-in-a-room residencies. Here in Legon, this is the fabled hub and heartbeat of everything that transpires in the nation’s premier university.

A young lady is just rising up from bed. In the usual or not too usual case, she’s probably feeling the after effects of having ‘’turned up’’ the previous night. The hangover is real. That Tequila-Vodka mixture never tasted sweeter, the wild dance moves and all the fun in the club might have been almost heaven on earth for her. Back to our mystery lady, she rubs her eyes and slowly rises from bed. Her ‘’chrife’’ roommate is on her bed having her quiet time after last night’s all night service. Our mystery lady drags herself up and trudges into the bathroom shuffling her feet loudly. She looks into the mirror and staring back at her is this red and puffy-eyed human being with the shadow of last night’s 16cm thick makeup still showing. First things first, she washes the makeup and the sink is instantly filled with what looks suspiciously like a watery rainbow mixture. So much for the light-skinned girl you met last night in the club because after that wash down now remains a female dark knight actually looking like 12:57am at midnight. 

Fast-forward to 8:30 AM, she’s done bathing and dressed up. But hey! The ruse is not complete yet. Short, skimpy skirt exposing some thighs, check. Pushups beneath a bright-coloured top pumping the breasts to the surface, check. The fashion cloak of deception is still not complete regardless of the 350GH Cedis worth of Brazilian hair covering up that dandruff-riddled scalp. A mixture of various assorted and expensive makeup is splashed unto her face and viola! Our ‘lightie’ is back. Ruse is complete. Time to head out . She steps out in her 8 inch heels, taking one step at a time, almost like a model. She’s in no hurry and EVERYTHING on her screams attention but isn’t that the point? Oh yeah, so she takes her step bit by bit and pulls her out Galaxy S4 (a supposed gift from some ‘uncle’ who is most likely to be a bank manager somewhere) and begins to text random male numbers. A few texts to the pizza boy (terrific Tuesday is coming up), another one to the ‘’oh-come-and-pick-me-up” guy and a couple more to the “hey-boo-do-you-have-the-latest-episode-of-vampire-diaries’’ guy and the list goes on and on… She has so many guys neck deep in the friend zone and they strangely don’t even seem to be aware. Some sort of magic trick? I for one thing wouldn’t know. I’ve never been zoned.

 Time check 10:23 AM, she’s done for the day. Her first class lasted only for an hour and the rest have been called off. You can imagine her joy (well most students are happy when that happens). The ‘’oh-come-and-pick-me-up’’ guy is always ready to give her a ride around. Brunch at Tickles and she places an order for lunch as well. Not a single penny from her purse is covering the cost and the whole thing is priced roughly around the 90GH Cedis region and this is even when she is in her mercy mood and doesn’t feel like eating much. Regardless of anything, someone, some guy will foot the bill. You may be thinking ‘’oh wow! What a lucky girl she is to having all that at her disposal without a cost!” But wait, the 3 packs of Fiesta condoms in her bag, what do you think is the use? Later that night in a room full of loud, banging music (pun intended) she will be paying her dues in kind in the ‘most amazing of ways\. I believe you catch my drift. That’s the sequence and it’s almost like a series that happens with her every time.

It’s now 5:16PM and our still unknown mystery girl is seen getting down from a sleek Range Rover with a man in the driver’s seat. “Oh that’s her dad’’ you might say until she plants a wet, deep and slippery kiss on the slightly balding man’s lips. That isn’t her dad, that’s ‘Supplier 3’ as saved among her contact list. One of the numerous sugar daddies she hangs around with. She walks away as the car speeds off in simultaneous fashion. She slides the newly-signed cheque in her bag and saunters off, hips swaying in spectacular fashion.

 

Dark scenes at the Pent car park, it’s 10:54 PM and she’s seen among a group of friends laughing and screaming loudly. Only God knows what is transpiring between them at this odd hour. They begin to pair off and leave one after the other and our mystery lady is not left out, she also pairs off with one guy and they head off in the direction of his room.  Music begins to blaze from the room disturbing all around and there can be only one answer to what is currently taking place in that room. A few hours later, she’s escorted out of the room by the guy who plants a peck on her and check and she whispers ‘’Thanks for the ‘blissful’ time. Next time yeah’’. She retires to her room, worn-out and tired. Her roomie is lying on her bed reading her handouts. Our mystery lady collapses unto her bed in a heap and the lights fade… A vicious cycle bound to be repeated virtually every week. Who our mystery girl is I don’t know though a little bird just whispered into my ears we might have just seen what goes on in a day of AN AVERAGE LEGON GIRL…….