Volta Names

''Grace, Mercy, Peace, Forgiveness, Wisdom, Beauty, Patience, Wonder...'' these are an assorted collection of verbs and adjectives one would say.

The more advanced ''grammarians'' would argue these are examples of abstract nouns. In either case, both are legit and 100% correct. But there is a third category which gives a human his identity. One most people either blatantly ignore or simply gloss over. It is a category of names. Any of the above from Grace to Wonder will readily pass for human identities... Names I've personally labelled ''Volta Names''

It is not an uncommon sight sight to see a ''number nine'' or an Ewe child named after a full sentence or in some exaggerated cases, complete paragraphs.

Well this comes into fruition when you translate an Ewe named literally into the Queen's language. You might burst out into guffaws just by hearing the meanings of some of these names but hey! It's mostly for reasons privy only to the ones who name the child. The bearer of the name is just like a mere pawn piece in the game of child-naming. Regardless, these names are held in high esteem in the Ewe kingdom. Let me show you an example from a personal point... My own brother is called ''Nyorm'' which translated literally into English means 'Wake me up'. I can sense bursts of umcontrollable laughter but like I stated earlier the bearer has no say on this. The ''namer'' has all that power. And my Dad in this case always claims he has special reasons for naming him that way. Sometimes I'm tempted to laugh myself but I guess the old boy knows best after all.So I usually cut him some slack on that one. It is a rare name so yeah.

Other 'Volta Names' are religion-related and these ones bear credence to my earlier claim that some Ewe names can be sentences and paragraphs.

Here let me show you... 'Mawuli' is a Volta Name which means 'God is there' or 'God is alive' depending on how you want to look at it and it is a complete sentence. Then we also have a name like 'Mawuenyega'(cringe before you pronounce that one) and it is means 'God is the greatest', yet another sentence. The ones which are paragraphs, trust me you don't want to know. So you could saying a harmless statement like 'God is good' and you will be unknowingly mentioning an Ewe's name, 'Mawunyo'. These are revered names in the Volta area and the originators cannot be questioned... well not openly. We all poke fun at these names once in a while but honestly it can't be much of a nuisance. They are rarities to be savoured after all what is bad about being named 'God is with me' A.K.A. 'Elikplim'. It is all part of the fun and games this life has to offer sometimes.

Even I myself, am called 'Give me' or 'God should give me' and that in Ewe is Nanam. I Love It. The 'Volta Names' are unique and rare, That's all I'm saying.

                         *DROPS INK, QUILL AND PARCHMENT*

WARNING: All the names in this article are not only fictional but have the potential to break your jaws and

empty your mouth of all your teeth. Exercise caution in pronunciation or better still do not attempt all.

Okay so it was approximately 8:24am on Tuesday the 25th of June 2013 when i logged into twitter to check

what was making the rounds as usual and BOOM! It hit me like a flash. There was a very interesting Trending

Topic and people were going hard on it. The TT? It was a simple but no so simple thing marked by a hash tag. It

was #EweNames. Interesting.

I had been planning to post a blog article on this a long time ago and it was like that Trending Topic had appeared

like a bolt from the blue to aid me. Honestly it couldn't have come at better moment and I was going to milk for all

it's worth. So I sampled off a number of names that got me wheezing from laughter(I think I lost two and half ribs in

the process too) and what was even intriguing was the one interesting thing I discovered. This particular Trending Topic

has a knack for appearing on twitter menu a whole lot. I discovered it dated as far back as over 2 years ago... May 2011.

Interesting huh?

So I sampled just a few names that got me laughing and hold your ribs for you are in for a rough ride comedy:

Meaning                                          Names

God Is With Us                               Agbativor

Congratulations                               Attipoe

All Shall Pass                                  Korkuvi Agbeliwotosi

The Lord Is My Shepherd               Blagogee

God Has Made Me Glad                Amevor

Amazing Grace                               Segbeduku

Providence Never Fails                   Gameli Agbesi

Praise The Lord                              Agbeglewu

Holiness                                          Korsivi Amegashie

Justify Me Oh Lord                         Agbelie

God's The Time Is The Best            Agbodakpi

The Lord Is My Strength                Avorkliyah

These are all of course literal translations from Ewe to English. It is all fun and games.

Unique names. You just have to hand it the Voltarians. No malice. So no guns or flames.

The Little Knight From Rosario

Born and nicknamed Messi Leo,
The Footballing World Is Held captive at his feet,
He plays and dribbles like a dancer to a beat.
Seventeen and young he starred for Barcelona,
Was then silent with no friends and was a loner.
A Clasico he was lit up and blazed,
The Aftermath had him look so unfazed,
The soccer realm he begun to rule and reign,
All this he did without stress or strain.
For his smallish nature, they called him The Flea,
All Football gods were left puzzled and at sea.

For what they saw they could not understand, Messi was a new breed, a blazing firebrand.
He was standing tall on a whole new level,
Becoming A Man having risen from the cradel.
Fast-Forward to the last few years,
So many records confronted and broken with no fears.
On The Ballon D'or He has a stranglehold,
It is magical, even more precious than gold.
Foes and Friends alike pay homage,
For we may be watching the greatest of the age.
Ghosting past markers remains his signature sport,
Even without Xavi and Iniesta  he still holds the Catalan sport.
He oozes greatness from within,
                                                                          You either love or hate him but for him I'm all in.
                                                                                   This is Soccer's Resident King
                                                                                   And on his finger lies the Ring.